she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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