My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
