Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
