Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Fuck appropriateness.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
