Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
