girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Randomize