That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
