Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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