We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
