never play flip cup with pint glasses
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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