just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
