I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Randomize
