I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
