Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
