bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
