She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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