can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
