that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
