I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
