I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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