you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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