I wanna passion pit in your ass
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Randomize
