Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize