i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
