He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
