just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize