I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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