Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
