When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
