Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
