what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
