Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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