So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
