I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
