Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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