i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
