How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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