I will die if light touches me.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize