So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
