I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
