Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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