it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
