Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
