I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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