I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
