I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
