he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
