The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
