69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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