Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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