FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize