Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
