So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Your topless pictures make me question reality
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
