i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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