id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
