Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize