Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
