Pappa wants mamma naked
Can Purell be used as lube?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
