before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
