walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
