Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize