she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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