Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
