the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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