Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
