love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
