That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
