i already hear my dad disowning me
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
