i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
