Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
