Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize