I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
