Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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