Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize