stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
